Electric Grapevine: Ice time
By Nik Green
On my way up to the Boundary from Vancouver this week I was curious what topics would intrigue me once I reached the area. As it were, I didn't even need to make it to the area before becoming consumed by the state of the roadways. It had been a good 10 - 12 hours since the last snowfall at least, yet the roadways remained as treacherous as I have seen then in my 17 years of driving Highway 3 very frequently.
The question is, "Why are they this poor?" Snowfall, as I said, was safely in the rear view mirror and visibility was largely acceptable, so why was there still 5 inches of snow over every square mile from Hope to Grand Forks?
"Oh, they don't touch the blades to road anymore," was one suggestion from another driver. Are budgetary concerns so great that we have relegated snow plow drivers to Zamboni operators in training? They would actually be better off leaving the snow as is rather than shaving a little off the top and leaving enough to disguise the ice.
The prior snowfall wasn't anything of epic proportions, yet there was more white powder and strange rock chunks than on Charlie Sheen’s coffee table. With the exception of the missing prostitutes I couldn't discern the difference whatsoever. Mind you, how like prostitutes are deer? Constantly meandering the roadside staring into the headlights, wondering whether or not to approach, only to end their evening nailed by an unknown man in a car.
Anyhow, I digress. When did it become okay to swap the sand and salt combo for golf-ball sized rocks? These aren't helping anything. They're dangerous and cause more damage to windshields than Elin Nordegren. Aside from creating a sharp increase in windshield claims that will invariably cost us somewhere along the line, I see no point in applying rocks to our roadways.
When you can actually see it coming at you, it's too big! Okay, Emcon? If navigating Highway 3 feels like a gay ol' cruise through Bedrock it's time to go back to the sieve and set the dial to "fine" alright? At one point, just to heighten the experience, I drove faster and recited the intro to Star Trek as my headlights caught the airborne planet sized projectiles. "Space the final frontier...."
Later, I turned the futile effort into a game not unlike Asteroid, and by the time I had reached Grand Forks I had dodged more rocks than Dwayne Johnsons' agent after suggesting The Tooth Fairy 2.
I don't care what the budget calls for. Apply the blade to the road surface. Would this kind of cost cutback work in other areas of regional and municipal maintenance?
"We can't afford enough water to put the house fire out, so we watered the lawn instead,"
Can you picture a fireman saying that? Lives are at stake. You tell me what the difference is.
Here's a cost cutting measure for you. Lessen the amount of drivers who are buzz cutting the snow and pay half as many to actually plough the road. How many times have you seen one plough truck following another yet the road remains untouched?
"But that's more lost jobs," you say. You are right and that is unfortunate, but so is a family being wiped out by unnecessarily poor road conditions. And if you've lost some hours due to my idea, swing by the local hockey arena they can always use your ice grooming skills.