OP/ED: Electric Grapevine - Cut the crap...
By Nik Green
A year ago I touched on how little I care for the onslaught of garbage toys that flood the market this time of year. I'd like to upgrade that dislike of cheap toys to a general dislike of products that simply do not need to be created - period.
The vibe cursed through me yesterday as I found myself twirling a novelty pen in my hand that was designed around a butterfly knife. A butterfly knife itself has relatively little use so I couldn't grasp why on earth someone decided the world needed a version of one with a pen that a realtor wouldn't give away in the waning minutes of an open house. While the real ones at least contribute to the world of film, a fake one certainly has little use in the real world.
One of the biggest offenders is whoever on earth makes all the terrible tourist-targeted Canada crap that we push into our visitors hands. You know the stores that are peppered around Gastown with the maple leafs in the windows and the plastic beavers wearing hockey jerseys. I feel there should be a squad that goes around and melts this detritus down into something more useful like perhaps, melted plastic.
A good way to go about determining what doesn't make the cut as far as to what humans actually need would be to start near the till area of any dollar store and shoving anything that is nearby into a burning barrel. What is that - a Justin Bieber bobblehead doll that will self decapitate before making it out of the parking lot? Yeah, in you go. Oh, a picture of a deer jumping through some kind of star constellation? Yeah, that's good fire starter.
I get so angry at the products that simply should never have been conceived as I just picture them being loaded directly into the earth. I'm not even an "earthy" kind of guy, but things like knock off Batman Pez dispensers simply have no place on this planet. I saw one that wasn't even Batman himself, it was Robin. Who the heck cares about Robin?
Entertainment and novelty is one thing, and I certainly make a living off exactly those two things, only after you're done reading or watching my absurdity you move on and, usually, no damage is done. There is no by-product of chemical filled plastic that will eventually end up floating in the ocean or buried someplace. The same cannot be said for late night TV products like this new door draft stopper whatever it's called. This thing is literally a rolled up towel that you jam under doors to prevent drafts. Anything found on TV late at night is detrimental crap aimed at the lowest common denominator plain and simple, but enough about Jay Leno.
What can be done about this? Well, not a lot frankly. Companies have the right to produce largely what they want. Not buying these items is certainly a start. Telling businesses to stop carrying them or you will shop elsewhere is an option.
